Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building
in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a

Bengali and the third is a Sardarji.

Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together
One fine day -- the Mallu opened his lunch box

and finds idlis in the box.

He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the
box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and

die."

Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says " If I
find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to

jump from the 20th floor of this building and die."

Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says "
Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box

tomorrow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor."

Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his
lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps

from the 20th floor and dies.

The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th
floor and dies.

Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th
floor and dies.

In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues,
the Mallu's widow says " I did not know he hated

idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch."

The Bengali's widow says " I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I
would have packed something else for his lunch."

The sardarji's widow says " I do not understand what went wrong. My husband
always prepared his own lunch....!!!

__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

A letter from a Sardar's mother to her son....



My dear Lotta,



I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from home, so we moved 25 miles away and are safe now.



I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with him for his new house so he would not have to change his address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.



This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.



The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.



The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.



Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.



Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.



Your uncle, Beppo Singh fell in! the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.



Your best friend, Genda Singh, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.



There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.



Love Mom.



P.S : Lotta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already posted off this letter.

__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

An Indian dies and goes to hell.

> There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
>
> He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?"
>
> He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
> Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
> Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day".

> The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.
>
> He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
> He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
>
> Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long
> line of people waiting to get in.
>
> Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"
>
> He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
> Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
> Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
>
> "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so
> many
> people waiting to get in?"
>
> "Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work,
> someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former
> Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the
Ø canteen..."
Ø ------------------

__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

nice collection angel!!

Laloo Prasad Yadav died. Rabri Devi (his wife) was very worried whether Laloo would be able to make it to heaven, so she decided to try & contact this spirit by having a seance. (black magic used to contact the dead)

Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits,
Laloo's voice was heard answering, Helloooooooo Rabri, this is meeee..."
"Oh dear Lalooji," she answered. "I just need to know if you're happy there in your after-life. What's it like there?"

"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Laloo answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected .... and, above all, there is no scam! And the only thing we do, all day long, are, eat and sleep, eat and sleep,over and over." "Thank God, you reached heaven," his Rabri cried, wiping some tears.
"Heaven?"he answered. "What heaven? I'm reborn.....
"I'm a buffalo in Switzerland."

__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

BIWI

Koi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki,
achanak bijli chamki,
badal garje,
jor se baarish shuru hui

dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gayee.

__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.