My computer crashed and died today
And I thought, "oh well what the hey"
Now I'd have time to clean my house
And see if I still had a spouse

It started out with weird frustrations
Combined with mild heart palpitations
And then my ankles began to swell
Withdrawal symptoms from no AOL

Chills ran up and down my spine
Oh, God I had to get on-line
To greet my buds and check my mail
I began to feel helpless and frail

Then I remembered the Good Guy's Store
And all those computers by the door
I'd go there and when alone
With no one looking I'd sign-on

I stepped up to a computer, clicked on AOL
The Sign-On screen came up, man it sure looked swell
I clicked on the Guest name, then came the modem sound
I was having cold-sweats, as my heart began to pound

Then I typed my password, and the computer said, "Goodbye"
And that's what I kept hearing each time that I would try.
This was just an evil plot, the store was playing tricks
If only they had known how bad I need my AOL fix

I ...slowly... typed... my... password... then...I... stood....and...waited
The darned thing said , "Goodbye" again and I got real frustrated
That's when I shoved the keyboard thru the monitor screen
And the last thing I remember is my loud shreiking scream

When I woke I was handcuffed being booked I think
I asked the data entry cop, if he'd get me a drink
Now I'm sitting in his chair, and I know I can get well
If I can just use his computer to sign on AOL.

- author unknown


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__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

I Love You More Than My Computer.....


Believe me it is true...
You installed the best in me.
Your picture is always in my background.
You clicked my heart gently.
You drive me crazy when I see you.
Your love reset my life and deleted all the
sadness in me. You restored my kindness
after I thought it was corrupted.

I'm always connected to you with more
than 56 heart beat per second.
You hacked my brain and registered
your name in it. You are the only one that could
navigate my feelings and explore my
emotions at the same time.

I feel lost when I try to call you
and you are not responding.
I always feel you close to me when
I shut down my eyes, or when I open
my windows waiting for you to pass.
You are the only one that can log into my heart
and never log out. I dream of being
your only server as long as I live.
You don't have to search for me,
cause we are always linked to each others.

I see your name everywhere,
my frontpage, my homepage and all
my software. I scanned my life and found
that I'm only infected by you.
You are the virus I'd never remove,
and why should I do?
You formatted my life and added
happiness to view. Believe me it is true...
I love you more than my CPU!

__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

THANKS FOR YOUR E-MAILS


I had some free time, so what did I do?
I checked the computer to see if I'd heard from you!

I use to walk out to a box to retrieve mail.
But I'd rather get it instantly, than wait on the snail!

Checking my e-mail is always fun!
I usually get a joke or greeting from someone.
I feel so bless ed because on the other end,

I know I've connected with a friend!
When I've had a hard day and need to share,

Here I can find a friend who will listen and care.

And to this friend I hope I've let them know
That I am always there for them also!


Isn't it a strange kind of bond we form?

It isn't exactly like the "norm"!

But where is it written, face to face we must be,

For you to be a very good friend to me??

That little joke or note, or just a simple "Hi",
Could be like a ray of sunshine from the sky!
So my E-Mail Pals, this is dedicated to you,

For all the smiles you have made anew!


May our friendship continue to grow,
And the warmth we feel continue to flow!
Always remember this...
A smile is such an easy thing to pass along the way,
Like a ray of summer sunshine,
On a somewhat gloomy day!!
Thanks for all your email's!!!

-author unknown

__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

A Forwarded Mail..........


>>
>> When you have nothing to say,
>> Still want to keep contact,
>> Guess what you do ,
>> You forward mails !!!!
>>
>> When you have something to say,
>> But dont know what ,
>> But dont know how,
>> Guess what you do ,
>> You forward mails!!!!
>>
>> When you have something to say,
>> But (dont)know why ,
>> Guess What you do ,
>> You forward mails!!!!
>>
>> When you are still wanted,
>> When you are still remembered,
>> When you are still important,
>> When you are still loved,
>> When you are still cared,
>> Guess what you get ,

>> .
>> .
>> .
>> A forwarded mail !!!!

- author unknown.
>

__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Dear Lord:

>>>>>> > > Every single evening

>>>>>> > > As I'm lying here in bed

>>>>>> > > This tiny little prayer

>>>>>> > > Keeps running through my head.

>>>>>> > > God bless my mom and dad,

>>>>>> > > And other family.

>>>>>> > > Keep them warm and safe from harm

>>>>>> > > For they're so close to me.

>>>>>> > > And God, there is one more thing

>>>>>> > > I wish that you could do.

>>>>>> > > Hope you don't mind me asking,

>>>>>> > > Bless my computer too.

>>>>>> > > Now I know that it's not normal

>>>>>> > > To bless a mother board,

>>>>>> > > But listen just a second

>>>>>> > > While I explain to you 'My Lord'.

>>>>>> > > You see, that little metal box

>>>>>> > > Holds more than odds & ends

>>>>>> > > Inside those small compartments

>>>>>> > > Rest so many of my FRIENDS.

>>>>>> > >

>>>>>> > > I know so much about them

>>>>>> > > The kindness that they give

>>>>>> > > And this little scrap of metal

>>>>>> > > Takes me in to where they live.

>>>>>> > > By faith is how I know them

>>>>>> > > Much the same as you

>>>>>> > > We share in what life brings us

>>>>>> > > And from that our friendship grew.

>>>>>> > >

>>>>>> > > Please, take an extra minute

>>>>>> > > From your duties up above

>>>>>> > > To bless those in my address book

>>>>>> > > That's filled with so much love!

>>>>>> > >

>>>>>> > > Wherever else this prayer may reach

>>>>>> > > To each and every friend,

>>>>>> > > Bless each email inbox

>>>>>> > > And the person who hits 'Send'.

>>>>>> > >

>>>>>> > > When you update your heavenly list

>>>>>> > > On your own CD-Rom

>>>>>> > > Remember each who've said this prayer

>>>>>> > > Sent up to God.com.

>>>>>> > >

- AUTHOR UNKNOWN


--------------------

__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

We have bought a new computer
that's the fastest ever seen.
It has terabytes of mem'ry
and a forty-eight inch screen.

It has all the latest gizmos
and accessories galore.
It has every last peripheral
they carried at the store.

It has disk drives by the dozen
it has twenty-seven mice,
and it even has a microwave
included in the price.

It can teach you how to mambo.
It can play the violin.
It can calculate the distance
from Botswana to Berlin.

It can speak in seven languages
with scholarly finesse,
then defeat the world's grandmasters
in a tournament of chess.

It can conjure anti-gravity,
or build a time machine.
Our computer is undoubtedly
the fastest ever seen.

When we went and bought it yesterday
we thought it pretty neat,
but today our new computer
is already obsolete.


--------------------

__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.